I have pictures of Lily in her new dress, but I can't post them just yet because we have the sickness going in our house and I don't have enough time to figure the camera out today.
Yesterday Marek was sick. He suddenly burst out crying and would not be comforted or tell me what was wrong with him. He fell asleep while we were driving – a nap! A NAP! There must be something wrong! He woke when we pulled in the driveway, I thought maybe he would be recovered and happy, but no. He started screaming again, went into the house and mumbled something about a blanket. I got one, not his but he didn't care. He laid on the couch and stayed there. After a few minutes, the other kids came and turned the TV on. Marek left the room. He slept in the front room for a while then moved to the kitchen floor where I was attempting to cook dinner. He moaned a few times to make sure I knew he was there.
As soon as Daddy got home he jumped up with the rest of the kids shouting, "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" Marek was cured instantly. Today Dallas is sick. I thought he would be cured the same way, but I was wrong. He didn't scream like Marek did, but he knows more words like, "Pick me up", and "Carry me"
As we cuddled on the couch, me attempting to comfort the sick child, he turns to me and asks, "Why don't you clean your room very often?" Good question! Could it be that I am too busy trying to clean the rest of the house and take care of the kids that as soon as I see the bed in there I fall into it and stay there? I surely could not think for a minute that it is because I don't want to, or "gasp" perhaps I am a bit lazy!
I don't want to say it's the kids fault, after all, he is sick and I am trying to comfort him. I tell him I don't know, you know I do clean it sometimes… He then informs me, "You better get it all the way clean before Christmas because Santa won't like it if it's not ALL the way clean, ya know. It has to be AAAALLLL the way clean. Before Christmas."
Well, thanks for giving me enough notice, seeing how it's just barely April! Kids are so sweet. The other noticeable announcement that I somehow have to deal with is, "Hey, tomorrow is April Fool's Day!" Hmmm, wish I had more notice for that one.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
domesticated
I feel so domesticated today! This week I have been able to get the kids to where they need to be close to on time every time, I gave Stephen a haircut, made a few meals at home, put in an hour or so at Stephen's school, finished some of the boys homework, took the kids to the library, made a feeble attempt to grocery shop, and finished sewing that dress for Lily. The one I started back in August last year. I was so glad to see that it fit her and she liked it! She wore it all day and was mad when it was time for jammies. Hopefully she still likes it on Sunday! I also looked for my desk under that giant pile of papers and finished reading two books for my homework! WOW! But, alas, the dishes are NOT done and the toilets are excited for me to clean them today. Other than finishing the dress this week has been pretty much a normal one, but wow, I finished sewing the dress!!! I will post a picture soon, after she wears it Sunday... I hope.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Would you like blueberries with that flood?
Yesterday was a wonderful day! It was the first day in over a week that we did not have any clogged toilets. Stephen won a contest at school for the cutest and the smallest green thing for St. Patrick's day. Of course the smallest thing is the cutest thing according to him. He is so wise. I should have known that.
Steve got home from work and went into the bathroom. "What's this? Why are all the towels in here?" I sigh and say, "We had a flood in there today. I didn't get to finish the project. Sorry."
"Oh. Okay." He says with a roll of his eyes. I am sure he is thinking it's another toilet problem. Then he askes, "Where's the toilet paper?"
"It's in the sink!" Yes, we have moved on to bigger and better more difficult to fix problems. Hooray for progress, and teamwork!
I explain to Steve, I had a phone call from out of state family and took a moment outside to hear better. When I went in to check on the kids they were all in the bathroom, "Not me!" Says Evan. Right. You are dry. It was not you. There were three crowded around the sink, water on, splashing, flooding...
I get them out of there and Brenden starts to cry. Is it because he's in trouble? No. He sobs, "I'm wet! I'm wet! Aaahhhh! I'm wet!" Sniffle, sniffle, snuff. And wet he stays until bedtime, or until he air-dries. Whichever comes first. I ask Dallas to get me a towel. In his better mood moment he rushes back with the entire cupboard and throws it at me. Thanks for helping today Dallas! Next time just bring one.
Dallas has been on a good streak. He has been having learning time with the kids. Yesterday he taught them the letters, today he taught them numbers. He has a treasure box for them for being good. He has also covered gravity. I wonder what will be next. I think he is trying to teach them cursive. Such a good creative boy. I have been better at not speaking all my thoughts and it is more peacefull around here today.
For example, Dallas said he would not eat breakfast today (big surprise) because it was not chocolate chip muffins it was blueberry. He tells me after about an hour, "okay mom. Here's the deal." I wanted to shout, "No! Here's the deal. I am the mom! I made you food, and you will eat what I made you!" But I didn't. I listened for a minute. "Here's the deal. I will eat 6 bites and you will let me eat something else with it." Sounds reasonable. Okay. He ended up eating three muffins, including a few blueberries, and forgot to ask for the something else to go with it. Here is the biggest shock: He is still alive after eating what I made!
Steve got home from work and went into the bathroom. "What's this? Why are all the towels in here?" I sigh and say, "We had a flood in there today. I didn't get to finish the project. Sorry."
"Oh. Okay." He says with a roll of his eyes. I am sure he is thinking it's another toilet problem. Then he askes, "Where's the toilet paper?"
"It's in the sink!" Yes, we have moved on to bigger and better more difficult to fix problems. Hooray for progress, and teamwork!
I explain to Steve, I had a phone call from out of state family and took a moment outside to hear better. When I went in to check on the kids they were all in the bathroom, "Not me!" Says Evan. Right. You are dry. It was not you. There were three crowded around the sink, water on, splashing, flooding...
I get them out of there and Brenden starts to cry. Is it because he's in trouble? No. He sobs, "I'm wet! I'm wet! Aaahhhh! I'm wet!" Sniffle, sniffle, snuff. And wet he stays until bedtime, or until he air-dries. Whichever comes first. I ask Dallas to get me a towel. In his better mood moment he rushes back with the entire cupboard and throws it at me. Thanks for helping today Dallas! Next time just bring one.
Dallas has been on a good streak. He has been having learning time with the kids. Yesterday he taught them the letters, today he taught them numbers. He has a treasure box for them for being good. He has also covered gravity. I wonder what will be next. I think he is trying to teach them cursive. Such a good creative boy. I have been better at not speaking all my thoughts and it is more peacefull around here today.
For example, Dallas said he would not eat breakfast today (big surprise) because it was not chocolate chip muffins it was blueberry. He tells me after about an hour, "okay mom. Here's the deal." I wanted to shout, "No! Here's the deal. I am the mom! I made you food, and you will eat what I made you!" But I didn't. I listened for a minute. "Here's the deal. I will eat 6 bites and you will let me eat something else with it." Sounds reasonable. Okay. He ended up eating three muffins, including a few blueberries, and forgot to ask for the something else to go with it. Here is the biggest shock: He is still alive after eating what I made!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
St. Patrick's Day
Sorry I forgot to add the picture for the last post. Here it is, my excited sweet Stephen.
Pickle juice pranks?
Happy St. Patty's Day!
When I was a kid, I remember the leprechauns would bring a treat to us if we were good. They would leave a trail of green footprints, glitter, or sprinkles (something green) leading to a treat that was, of course, green: a green apple, green frosted sugar cookies perhaps. I thought it was similar to Christmas, if you are good you get a treat. Little did I know the true story of leprechauns being naughty and mischievous. Well, last year at the school Stephen and Dallas were at, they taught them the "real" story and leprechauns messed up their classrooms while they were out playing. They came home worried that our house was going to be messed up, not to get treats. Hmmm. I told them our house was already too messy for them to do any damage and they wouldn't have fun messing up our house – afterthought: it's good to have a messy house to keep leprechauns away.
We have had tricks played on us by changing our food colors. This year I was a little behind and barely got the milk green in time. We had green pancakes, and I planned on having eggs with green flecks of chives in them. However, I was not fast enough with the eggs.
Stephen was on the trail searching for any other tricks the little green fellows played. He took out the eggs. They are white, normal. I was able to sneak a few chives into the pan while he wasn't looking. "Oh! The trick was on the pan this time!" He scans the fridge further and finding nothing else different he announces, "I think the leprechauns turned our pickle juice green!" I like his thinking.
Enter Dallas: "Mom! Why did you make green food! I am not going to eat today if it’s going to be green! Why do you always do things I don't like?!" I say, "Dallas, it's St. Patrick's Day." He responds, "I don't want green food! I won't eat it! This is the worst day ever! I wish Leprechauns were never invented!"
Stephen tried to calm him and loved eating his green stuff. Brenden was resistant like Dallas, but he eventually tried it and ate, as did the other kids.
The next argument is about school. Dallas doesn't want to go to school at all this week because it is spirit week and you have to dress up. Yesterday it was sports day and he hates basketball because it is too loud. Today is crazy hair day. He doesn't want to have crazy hair and everyone else will then they will laugh at him for not having crazy hair. "Do you want crazy hair?" "NO!" "Okay that's fine" "But they will laugh at me!" "Do you want crazy hair then?" "NO!" And so on….
I like Stephen's school better than the one he went to last year. If you don't wear green you get kissed and the leprechauns lost a shoe in one kid's desk last year. No messes mentioned. At Stephen's school, they have a contest for who has the biggest, smallest, funniest, cutest, etc… green stuff. Here is what he looked like when he left today. He is so sweet and excited for fun. I did remind him the pickles were green already. He took the news okay.
When I was a kid, I remember the leprechauns would bring a treat to us if we were good. They would leave a trail of green footprints, glitter, or sprinkles (something green) leading to a treat that was, of course, green: a green apple, green frosted sugar cookies perhaps. I thought it was similar to Christmas, if you are good you get a treat. Little did I know the true story of leprechauns being naughty and mischievous. Well, last year at the school Stephen and Dallas were at, they taught them the "real" story and leprechauns messed up their classrooms while they were out playing. They came home worried that our house was going to be messed up, not to get treats. Hmmm. I told them our house was already too messy for them to do any damage and they wouldn't have fun messing up our house – afterthought: it's good to have a messy house to keep leprechauns away.
We have had tricks played on us by changing our food colors. This year I was a little behind and barely got the milk green in time. We had green pancakes, and I planned on having eggs with green flecks of chives in them. However, I was not fast enough with the eggs.
Stephen was on the trail searching for any other tricks the little green fellows played. He took out the eggs. They are white, normal. I was able to sneak a few chives into the pan while he wasn't looking. "Oh! The trick was on the pan this time!" He scans the fridge further and finding nothing else different he announces, "I think the leprechauns turned our pickle juice green!" I like his thinking.
Enter Dallas: "Mom! Why did you make green food! I am not going to eat today if it’s going to be green! Why do you always do things I don't like?!" I say, "Dallas, it's St. Patrick's Day." He responds, "I don't want green food! I won't eat it! This is the worst day ever! I wish Leprechauns were never invented!"
Stephen tried to calm him and loved eating his green stuff. Brenden was resistant like Dallas, but he eventually tried it and ate, as did the other kids.
The next argument is about school. Dallas doesn't want to go to school at all this week because it is spirit week and you have to dress up. Yesterday it was sports day and he hates basketball because it is too loud. Today is crazy hair day. He doesn't want to have crazy hair and everyone else will then they will laugh at him for not having crazy hair. "Do you want crazy hair?" "NO!" "Okay that's fine" "But they will laugh at me!" "Do you want crazy hair then?" "NO!" And so on….
I like Stephen's school better than the one he went to last year. If you don't wear green you get kissed and the leprechauns lost a shoe in one kid's desk last year. No messes mentioned. At Stephen's school, they have a contest for who has the biggest, smallest, funniest, cutest, etc… green stuff. Here is what he looked like when he left today. He is so sweet and excited for fun. I did remind him the pickles were green already. He took the news okay.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
How many toilets?
How many toilets?
So tell me, how many toilets do you think are necessary in one home? I say at least 2 if there are more than one person living there. I have wondered how frivolous my four toilets are from time to time. Today though, I was wondering if I needed more.
Dallas announces early in the day that the toilet in the basement has been clogged. Since we are busy trying to get to school I let it go till later. Then, of course, I forget about it as life continues. Then Dallas reminds me, after he used it again and it still didn't work. Yuck. So, then I go to the one near the kitchen. That's where the plunger is. Kids in the kitchen distract me again. I hear the door close and turn to see Evan standing there with a grin on his face, yup. The bathroom door is locked. Plunger? In the locked room.
Oh well. I will just unlock the door. Where is that key? Hmmm.. I will try a screwdriver. Nope doesn't fit. How about this nail? It worked yesterday. No, it's not working today… Hmmm… nothing else seems to fit in there.
Hey! Get out of the bathroom! I run upstairs to find a clogged toilet in the hallway. It keeps running so I jiggle the handle. Whew! That was a close call! Oh no! I am going to be late for getting the kids from school! Let's go! Out of the mud! Out of the snow! Into the truck!! Evan! I said stay out of the mud! Let's go!
From school pick up to an attempted grocery trip.
"Do you have to go to the bathroom before we go?"
"No." "Are you sure?" "I said no!" "Okay."
Inside the store, still getting the kids into the baskets.
"Dallas, what's wrong? Do you have to go to the bathroom?" "No." "Are you lying to me?" "Yes." UGH! Race to the back of the store. He is afraid of going alone, doesn't want anyone else going but me. I can't fit everyone in the little back room of the grocery store…. Dallas decides to be brave and goes alone, with all of the rest of us standing as close to the hallway entrance as we can. Hooray!
Now let's get those groceries. No, no, no, no, no, that's not on the list. That's not on the list. We have that at home already. No, we don't need that… Oh no! We are out of time! A half way done shop and late to get Stephen from school!
I think we will just collect him and return, but when we get home, our dear friend is outside in our driveway waiting to say hi. I let everyone out of the truck for "just a minute", which ends up being a big minute. I have a flashback of our friend that watched the kids last week asking if we were able to unclog the toilet. The kids got together when she was watching them. This seems to be their favorite game this month. I told her, "Yes, but now the one in the basement is clogged." As I remember this, I shout out for all to hear, "Do not use a toilet if it is not working!" Then I visit our friend, unload what few groceries made it home with us, start making dinner…
Steve gets home and I tell him, "If you need to use the bathroom you have to use the one in our bedroom." "Okay" He goes upstairs and hollers, "What's this?!" I inform him the hall bathroom is clogged, the basement bathroom is clogged, the kitchen bathroom is locked and I can't get it unlocked. He says the hall bathroom looks really stuck and flooded into the hallway. What?!? They must have gone in there again when I wasn't looking! He asks, "Where's the plunger?" I am sure he thought I was just not interested in doing that fun job. "It's in the locked one!" My hero hubby to the rescue! He reminds the boys of the four wipes/courtesy flush rule, "I'm not saying you did it. I am saying this rule applies to everyone."
He magically unlocks the bathroom and has all bathrooms restored to working order within the blink of an eye.
So, how many toilets are enough, needed, too many? In this house, today, we need four! And half of us are not even potty trained yet! I am so glad no one was sick and needing to use it at the same time. Hooray for my hero hubby and his magical door unlocking, toilet unclogging skills! Afterwards, we all went to the grocery store. What a great day! Useable bathrooms and food in the house too. Wow!
Sorry no pictures today!
So tell me, how many toilets do you think are necessary in one home? I say at least 2 if there are more than one person living there. I have wondered how frivolous my four toilets are from time to time. Today though, I was wondering if I needed more.
Dallas announces early in the day that the toilet in the basement has been clogged. Since we are busy trying to get to school I let it go till later. Then, of course, I forget about it as life continues. Then Dallas reminds me, after he used it again and it still didn't work. Yuck. So, then I go to the one near the kitchen. That's where the plunger is. Kids in the kitchen distract me again. I hear the door close and turn to see Evan standing there with a grin on his face, yup. The bathroom door is locked. Plunger? In the locked room.
Oh well. I will just unlock the door. Where is that key? Hmmm.. I will try a screwdriver. Nope doesn't fit. How about this nail? It worked yesterday. No, it's not working today… Hmmm… nothing else seems to fit in there.
Hey! Get out of the bathroom! I run upstairs to find a clogged toilet in the hallway. It keeps running so I jiggle the handle. Whew! That was a close call! Oh no! I am going to be late for getting the kids from school! Let's go! Out of the mud! Out of the snow! Into the truck!! Evan! I said stay out of the mud! Let's go!
From school pick up to an attempted grocery trip.
"Do you have to go to the bathroom before we go?"
"No." "Are you sure?" "I said no!" "Okay."
Inside the store, still getting the kids into the baskets.
"Dallas, what's wrong? Do you have to go to the bathroom?" "No." "Are you lying to me?" "Yes." UGH! Race to the back of the store. He is afraid of going alone, doesn't want anyone else going but me. I can't fit everyone in the little back room of the grocery store…. Dallas decides to be brave and goes alone, with all of the rest of us standing as close to the hallway entrance as we can. Hooray!
Now let's get those groceries. No, no, no, no, no, that's not on the list. That's not on the list. We have that at home already. No, we don't need that… Oh no! We are out of time! A half way done shop and late to get Stephen from school!
I think we will just collect him and return, but when we get home, our dear friend is outside in our driveway waiting to say hi. I let everyone out of the truck for "just a minute", which ends up being a big minute. I have a flashback of our friend that watched the kids last week asking if we were able to unclog the toilet. The kids got together when she was watching them. This seems to be their favorite game this month. I told her, "Yes, but now the one in the basement is clogged." As I remember this, I shout out for all to hear, "Do not use a toilet if it is not working!" Then I visit our friend, unload what few groceries made it home with us, start making dinner…
Steve gets home and I tell him, "If you need to use the bathroom you have to use the one in our bedroom." "Okay" He goes upstairs and hollers, "What's this?!" I inform him the hall bathroom is clogged, the basement bathroom is clogged, the kitchen bathroom is locked and I can't get it unlocked. He says the hall bathroom looks really stuck and flooded into the hallway. What?!? They must have gone in there again when I wasn't looking! He asks, "Where's the plunger?" I am sure he thought I was just not interested in doing that fun job. "It's in the locked one!" My hero hubby to the rescue! He reminds the boys of the four wipes/courtesy flush rule, "I'm not saying you did it. I am saying this rule applies to everyone."
He magically unlocks the bathroom and has all bathrooms restored to working order within the blink of an eye.
So, how many toilets are enough, needed, too many? In this house, today, we need four! And half of us are not even potty trained yet! I am so glad no one was sick and needing to use it at the same time. Hooray for my hero hubby and his magical door unlocking, toilet unclogging skills! Afterwards, we all went to the grocery store. What a great day! Useable bathrooms and food in the house too. Wow!
Sorry no pictures today!
Friday, March 6, 2009
It's all Marek's fault!
That would be a ridiculous thought if it did not make so much sense from Dallas' point of view. "Marek broke it because he is always eating stuff! If he didn't eat my pants my zipper would not be broken!" I try to conceal my laugh, and remember the episode from the other day, the one of the pants soaking from Marek's drool last week that disrupted our day. The day the only pair of pants that Dallas had clean, he went to put them on and found wet spots on the legs. Dallas exploded yelling, "Marek! Did you eat my pants!?" "Yes." Dallas says surprisingly calm, "Well, it's just a little wet. I can still wear them." Then not so calm, "Oh NO! They're wet here too! Marek! Why did you eat my pants?!" Followed my more yelling and crying about not having any pants to wear.
I quietly put them in the dryer. When he was done screaming, I handed them to him dry. Yes, he was upset by wet pants long enough to have them dried in the dryer. I admit they were not soaked, but much more wet than I would expect from a mouth. Today I can't even tell him how the zipper really broke in the wash. I just get him a new pair of pants.
This scuttle doesn't bother me though because I started my day receiving a compliment from Stephen. He said, "I like your hair Mom." Then he proceeded to help me fix Lily's hair. She had at least twenty "pretties" in her hair. I don't think there will be a problem keeping her hair out of her face or food out of her hair today.
2 hours later, I am proven wrong, on both counts.
Stephen had no school today, but Dallas had the usual Friday run around. We dropped him off at school (On time hooray!) had a lunch with Daddy, rushed back to get Dallas (Late, boo hoo!) then we all went for an adventure to the library. We returned the gobs of books we had, collected the ones I had on hold, picked up a few new videos to watch, and watched the kids go crazy but luckily not lost while Dallas got his very own library card!
We made it safely out to the truck and decided that we were being good enough to go back in for the "event" of the day. As if that wasn't enough event yet! We watched a magic show, a good one. Stephen was chosen to be a helper. They were doing spoofs of the Dr. Seuss stories and Stephen was king from the Bartholomew and the Ooblek story. Then Dallas was chosen to help as a lion for a Horton story, from before he was "famous". I wish I had my camera! They were great! Nevertheless, as soon as Dallas sat down he started saying he wanted to go home. No much more embarrassing than when you have a kid participate in a great thing and yell loudly he wants to leave.
Tonight we had a double date with some friends and I tried sushi for the first time. Better than I thought it would be! Nice to try new things with seasoned "professionals" And our sitter said we have good kids. They were all in bed sleeping when we got home. It's been another great day of crazy!
I quietly put them in the dryer. When he was done screaming, I handed them to him dry. Yes, he was upset by wet pants long enough to have them dried in the dryer. I admit they were not soaked, but much more wet than I would expect from a mouth. Today I can't even tell him how the zipper really broke in the wash. I just get him a new pair of pants.
This scuttle doesn't bother me though because I started my day receiving a compliment from Stephen. He said, "I like your hair Mom." Then he proceeded to help me fix Lily's hair. She had at least twenty "pretties" in her hair. I don't think there will be a problem keeping her hair out of her face or food out of her hair today.
2 hours later, I am proven wrong, on both counts.
Stephen had no school today, but Dallas had the usual Friday run around. We dropped him off at school (On time hooray!) had a lunch with Daddy, rushed back to get Dallas (Late, boo hoo!) then we all went for an adventure to the library. We returned the gobs of books we had, collected the ones I had on hold, picked up a few new videos to watch, and watched the kids go crazy but luckily not lost while Dallas got his very own library card!
We made it safely out to the truck and decided that we were being good enough to go back in for the "event" of the day. As if that wasn't enough event yet! We watched a magic show, a good one. Stephen was chosen to be a helper. They were doing spoofs of the Dr. Seuss stories and Stephen was king from the Bartholomew and the Ooblek story. Then Dallas was chosen to help as a lion for a Horton story, from before he was "famous". I wish I had my camera! They were great! Nevertheless, as soon as Dallas sat down he started saying he wanted to go home. No much more embarrassing than when you have a kid participate in a great thing and yell loudly he wants to leave.
Tonight we had a double date with some friends and I tried sushi for the first time. Better than I thought it would be! Nice to try new things with seasoned "professionals" And our sitter said we have good kids. They were all in bed sleeping when we got home. It's been another great day of crazy!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
communication breakdown
Last night we went to the Utah Museum of Natural History. They have one day a month with free admission. It was really cool! They have real fossils there, not just the copies of them, an awesome kid area with puzzles and little pebbles to "dig" for dinosaur bones in, and there was a bug collection display that the kids just loved! We ran into some friends there that also like the word "free".
All ended well, but there were challenges along the way. A later than expected start for our journey was buffered by Evan actually eating some dinner. He told me it was delicious! A real compliment coming from him! He even asked for seconds!!! WOW!
We get on our way and Steve starts to turn the truck into a parking lot. "This isn't where we're going." "What? Oh. Where are we going?" We get to another parking lot. "Is this it?" "No. It's the Utah museum of Natural History. This one is for art." "Oh! The one clear over there!?!"
We finally get there. After looking for a parking spot (I guess I am not the only one who likes "free") I say to the kids, "Okay. We are here. I'll get the strollers out." Steve says, "Strollers? I didn't know you wanted them."
We had a great time though! The kids were well behaved and didn't get lost at all. I think we will be doing this again and not worry about the strollers.
The question for the day: How do you make friends if you are not supposed to talk to strangers and everyone you don't know is a stranger?
All ended well, but there were challenges along the way. A later than expected start for our journey was buffered by Evan actually eating some dinner. He told me it was delicious! A real compliment coming from him! He even asked for seconds!!! WOW!
We get on our way and Steve starts to turn the truck into a parking lot. "This isn't where we're going." "What? Oh. Where are we going?" We get to another parking lot. "Is this it?" "No. It's the Utah museum of Natural History. This one is for art." "Oh! The one clear over there!?!"
We finally get there. After looking for a parking spot (I guess I am not the only one who likes "free") I say to the kids, "Okay. We are here. I'll get the strollers out." Steve says, "Strollers? I didn't know you wanted them."
We had a great time though! The kids were well behaved and didn't get lost at all. I think we will be doing this again and not worry about the strollers.
The question for the day: How do you make friends if you are not supposed to talk to strangers and everyone you don't know is a stranger?
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